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I have witnessed endless reasons for relationships breaking, up but this one literally takes the cake. This couple that were turning their wedding plan into an enormous undertaking. They were planning to have the most auspicous wedding their town has ever seen. They were told to spare no expense by the bride’s parents who were of definite means. Believe me, she took them up on it. The wedding decorations alone approached $100,000.00. It was getting obnoxious. When the day came, the groom wanted to surprise the bride and totally changed the cake she had ordered. She saw it at the reception, picked out two huge handfuls of it and threw it at him. He slowly wiped his face, picked up the huge cake and threw it on her parents’ table and left. The wedding was annulled.

I have been involved in many more break ups than anyone should or could ever want to be. However, there is one that literally takes the cake. My female cousin is one of those girls who has been dreaming about and rehearsing her wedding day since she was three years old. She had one sole purpose in life, her wedding day. There we were, all the families and friends walking into the reception hall, when her newly wed husband flips out and shouts “I’m sorry. I can’t do this. Is it too late to back out?” When she realized he wasn’t joking, she grabs one of the largest wedding cake toppers you have ever seen and violently stabs him in the throat with it. This is certainly one break up there is no getting over.

Sometimes the only way to remove or at least reduce the sorrow and pain of the end of a relationship is to change both your lifestyle and your surroundings. This of course depends on whether or not time itself was proving to dissolve the grief. I myself suffered such a scenario and wound up leaving my entire family and moving to Canada and into a Burnaby condo that was so pertinent to restoring my well being it would be difficult to believe. The change was the smartest and most constructive thing I have ever done. You should attempt many other remedies brfore you do something as drastic as I did.

I am probably more pathetic than any of the people I have ever counselled on how to get over a break up. As feeble as it may sound I have never gotten over how devastated I was when my parents saw fit to dissolve their marriage. It is more than likely the prominent reason I got into this type of counselling to begin with. I was shocked back then and still am to this day. Thirty years have gone by and I’m still in pain. It started when my dad said he was looking to move to these Winnipeg condos and my mom’s jaw dropped. I can still see that expression on her face when he concluded the statement with the word “ALONE.”

I would have no problem placing a bet that way up on top of the list, just under infidelity, sits financial problems as a cause of break ups. Fighting over money, usually money you don’t even have, that is spent on credit cards and store accounts is abundant in this country. The almost daily arrivals in the mailbox and on-line reminders have driven many a spike into otherwise solid relationships. If you fall into this category and desire permanent cures, look into infinite banking. It will allow you to take control of your life and to get back to normal. Money shouldn’t ruin your life. It should be used to enhance your life.

I have listened to thousands of reasons why couples break up. Some are totally sensible and understandable. There’s the number one reason, infideity, and of course another big one is money, the reputed source of all evil. But I recently got the scoop on one break up that takes the cake. This young man saw fit to put off the pourchase of a long anticipated engagement ring so he could purchase a new state of the art scope mount. His passion for shooting obviously outweighed his passion for his partner’s ring finger. She was livid, when he casually announced his action. It will take a long time for her to take him back, if ever, after such a cavalier action.

Sometimes it takes doing something really drastic in order to separate youself from heartache. We all have different time frames to process setbacks. Consequently, we never know how and when we will bounce back. The good news is most of us if not all will recover. My good friend had to move to a Burnaby condo when he and his wife separated last winter. The break up was exceedingly difficult and he couldn’t bear being near her. I am happy to say the condo is up for sale since they made up and are in counciling to iron out their differences.

Even I, the hoplessly optimistic relationship fixer, can not see my good friends getting over their break up. When someone does something so self serving and exhibits zero guilt for their action, it is evident that an irrepairable character flaw exists. There are certain core actions that simply can’t be changed. If you perceive fatalism in my assessment of such a person, allow me to explain what she did. She was in a business relationship as well as in a marriage with her husband of 15 years. She systematically set up a B2b telemarketing company outside of their business and told her spouse that it would be expensive to deal with them at first but it would pay off big in the end. When all their accounts were drained she was no where to be found. After running out of the pilfered cash, she returned not knowing that he discovered her ruse. I rest my case for zero reconciliation.

I can’t think of a more creative industry than web design. I love it so much that my fiancee recently told me to go out with my computer and forget she ever existed. Can you imagine a break up over something like this? I heard about this company doing web design Toronto and went to visit their site. Their work is pure genius. They actually are an award winnig group and believe me they earned every accolade they get. I had them do a page for me to entice my girl back. It was so romantic, she couldn’t resist. I guess that all’s well that ends well.

Getting over a break up is one thing. Getting over a cancelled wedding is another. Early on in the planning of their wedding, (let’s call them John and Mary) everything was moving along. The date was set, the chapel reserved and the backyard reception was chosen and agreed upon. Well those were the only things agreed on. He didn’t like the proposed wedding decorations. She wasn’t happy about his groomsmen selections and he appalled her maid-of-honor. Not a very good start is it? Consequently, one thing led to another and eventually the wedding was cancelled. Three month’s later John called Mary. He told her that he thought they both got lost in trivialities and he asked her to reconsider. The only stipulation he gave her was that they had to elope. She agreed.