Get Over A Break Up

There are many kinds of breakups. Most of us always think of romantic breakups, but there are other scenarios. I recently was speaking with a friend whose at war with his business partner over guess what? Right, money. They seem to be drowning in debt because of interest payments that are due and can’t be met. My friend tried to talk his partner into infinite banking three years ago and he wouldn’t agree. Now the issue is being thrown in his face and his ego will not allow him to admit he was wrong. I don’t see them getting over this breakup.

Far too often, I am asked what to do when finances become the root force in the breaking up of an otherwise compatible couple. We all know that economic stress, especially during the recent years can bring a ton of irritability and fear to all of us. My suggestion in these instances is to somehow make the finances a joint effort. If you have only one party handling them, there will always be some sort of doubt on the part of the other party. One good idea I have heard of is couples starting a self directed IRA and getting involved in building a secure financial future together.

I am constantly getting in the middle of relationship tug-of-wars. Sure it’s the nature of what I do. But, sometimes these people are simply being childish. For instance, I actually had a couple that started an argument over what to call coffee tables. He said coffee table. She said TV table. Her argument was that she never drinks coffee and she uses the table for other items. This lead to their evaluating each other’s faults. Before they knew it, they ended their engagement. My advice was to get over it and move on to something that matters. I wish all my problems were that simple.

After a twenty-three year relationship which included nineteen years of marriage, my wife and I were contemplating breaking up. We constantly fought over what she called “my lack of domestic interest.” I am not and never was a handyman. I actually cringe when something in the house needs repair. Since we live in an 80 year old money pit, I have just had it. I don’t blame her for her animosity toward me, I certainly earned it. Then, I got a brainstorm of an idea to sell the pit and move to one of the fabulous Surrey condos. It saved our marriage and is bringing us bliss.

Not only indidviduals suffer during breakups. I have witnessed complete businesses folding up because of a love triangle or some other deceptive occurence. My cousin was working at a small biochem lab using methylcellulose based media when the owner got involved with one of the technicians. The problem was that he was married at the time. To finish the picture, she was his wife. The turmoil that followed was enough to demolish the business. Far be it from me to make judgement, but I must take the opportunity to say that you shoudn’t fool around where the stakes are so high.

If you think it is difficult trying to get over a broken relationship, try overcoming the loss of a limb. The physical problems related to losing an arm or a leg are very evident. What many of us don’t comprehend is the overwhelming emotional pain involved in this type of a loss. Sure we get the appearance angle but the loss of a body part is way more profound than just that. It feels like part of you has deserted the rest of you, because that is exactly what happened in your mind. This is why the advent of mesenchymal stem cells that have the power to regenerate bone and adipose tissue is such an exciting possibility on the horizon for thousands of amputees.

Believe it or not, letting go is the secret to getting over a breakup. You certainly should allow yourself to grieve over the separation from a loved one. If you have no pain, the relationship was a sham. But, in no way should you allow it to go on and on. Concentrate on the new things and opportunities that life will bring. Let go. I was working on a research project for the isolation of B cells and my colleague and I became very close after spending endless hours together in the lab. Funny how as soon as the project ended, so did our relationship. I was broken hearted, but put my energy toward my next assignment and the heartache dissipated in a few days.

I, myself have been involved in a break-up or two. I know first hand that it is no picnic. My last encounter was with a medical scientist that was involved with embryonic stem cells differentiation and constantly reminded all of us around her about it. My friends were beginning to call me Bryo. The name stuck for quite some time. Her egoism was finally intolerable by us all. I took the advice of many and ended the relationship. She was such an egotist, it took her three weeks to discover I was gone. I guess that one was easy to swallow.

The new year is just about upon us and as usual it is the all-time great reminder to make changes to improve our lives and even our businesses. This year, I am going to take the leap and go for the major change in my business that I have been tempting myself to do for years. I’m feeling a bit selfish about it, but I simply can’t handle the stress my sales people put me through any longer. I am signing up with b2b telemarketing company to handle 100% of my sales. No more sales meetings, smaller payroll accounting and the pressure of giving out unaffordable year end bonuses. I am going with SalesFish. I heard they are the best.

I’m really not sure about my decision to get involved with infinite banking. You see, whenever my wife and I would have a little tiff (or maybe a big one), I would say I have to run to the bank and deposit some cash before a certain check would bounce. These days with our being our own bank, I don’t think it would do me any good to say “I’m running to the next room.” Well I guess you can’t have your cake and eat it. The advantages of being our own bank far outweighs the disadvantages.