Get Over A Break Up

I have a friend whose wife was struggling in her hunting for employment. She was a highly skilled and educated woman who was being offered embarassingly mediocre positions. He was discussing the situaton with me in a frustraing manner. I told him about this newly formed bio-tech company that had several women in demanding positions with the company. I thought they probably would give her a more serious look. As it turned out she applied there and was hired to do important publicity work for them. Just last week she was telling me about the event management software she uses for their exhibition work.

There is a great deal to be said about the decision and ensuing action to avert to green printing. It is serving as a benchmark to manufacturers all over the globe. The ball is in the court of those companies that can make a difference by following this community spirited feat. It would be amazing and exciting to see how the air quality and water purity change if the big boys in all kinds of industries joined in. I could see the quality of our lives quickly responding to the new and improved environment. Hats off to Metro Fine Printing for setting the bar to such a responsible level.

When my son used the above term “simple and easy wedding decorations,” his bride to be broke into tears that rivaled Niagra Falls after the spring thaw. She then turned the sobbing into rage. Here they were five weeks before their wedding and they broke up. They didn’t speak for days and the pastor was told to release their scheduled ceremony. My wife and I and our corresponding friends, the bride’s parents were devastated. To see this young couple in pain was very difficult. When my son broke the ice and begged her forgiveness for being so trite about the biggest day in their lives, they fortunately reconciled. When we called the pastor to see if we could reclaim the date, he said he had faith in them and never cancelled it.

I was in a long time business relationship that started out as a partnership and gradually became a nightmare. My partner was seemingly a forceful entity, until it came to his sons. They literally had the power to pull his strings in any direction they wished. I eventually became collateral damege from their actions and simply walked away. I couldn’t take watching the manipulation. When they tried to get me under their spell by signing for unsecured business loans, I drew the line. My good friend has passed on and his sons are now the owners of the business, I created. Hopefully some day the axiom of “What goes around. Comes around will complete its rotation.

A good friend of my wife’s is a long time wedding planner. She says she has seen people spend more on their weddings than on their home downpayments. This might work out if the bride’s bag of cash compensates for it. She said she doesn’t think it even comes close in most cases. The wedding decorations, she tells us about, really blow my mind. I can’t determine if it is all ego or pure insanity. It makes me think of the spectacle the upper castes in India produce for weddings. They go on for days and days with incredible and colorful displays.

Jennifer and Mark were finally going to do it. The chapel was booked and the reception hall was practically under renovation for the big day. They have been dreaming about this day since middle school. They always knew they were born to be together. As the time neared, Mark, who promised not to look, slipped into the hall and took a peek at the decorations. Jennifer wanted him to be surprised. he was surprised, alright. He screamed out “those are the ugliest wedding decorations I have ever seen.” The outburst actually caused their first break up. Don’t fret, they got back together 48 hours later.

Condo vs House, that is the root of one of the most disappointing breakups I have ever been involved with. She wanted the condo. He wanted the single family home. This perfectly happy and well matched couple met in high school and were instantly connected at the hip. The next seven years showed them to be the ideal couple. When it came time to make wedding plans and sketch out their future, he started looking at lawn mowers and edgers. She queried “what are you doing?” He replied “we’ll need this stuff for our home. “She quipped, are you out of your mind, we’re going to buy the Burnby condo I have been dreaming of.” He remained silent and moped around for days. Finally he said “no house, no wedding.” She couldn’t believe her ears. It escalated to an all out shouting match and now the wedding is on hold.

There is a great deal of difference between a personal relationship break up and a business relationship break up. One can change your life for months and the other can change your life forever. Actually any break up must be dealt with or it will eat you up. I was involved with a business partner who was also my closest friend. The time came when the business needed a shot in the arm financially. I was looking for unsecured business lines of credit and he stopped me in my tracks. He said his wife would never sign for another dime of credit for what she felt was a lost cause. It was devastating to me. It caused not only the demise of the business, but also the disolution of the friendship. I am trying in vain, to deal with it.

I have come across hunfreds of reasons for relationships breaking up. I have witnessed some really ridiculous situations. However, breaking up over wedding decorations is either very immature or actually only a surface reason for someone looking for an out. More than likely, both apply. This couple was together for three years before the wedding. They had a house in escrow, a honeymoon booked and paid for and all the guests were invited and confirmed. The last thing on their list was the decorations. They fought so vehemently over the color scheme that they wound up breaking up.

I was at a wedding where the bride and groom shocked the guests with an out and out brawl like you have never seen. Their discourse supposedly started while perusing wedding cake toppers. She wanted the traditional tux and gown couple standing and holding hands on the cake. He wanted the couple to depict them sitting on a bench in casual dress like the night he proposed. They both had a bit too much to drink and brought up the argument (which she won) publically. He picked up the cake topper and threw it at the nearest wall. When it shattered, she whacked him with the cake server spatula. The different sides of room got into it and the donnybrook was underway. I don’t know if they will ever get over that breakup.